jesus:i died on the cross for your sins
me:aint nobody tell u to do that tho

The best cure for a dry mouth is a wet vagina.

(Source: girl-vs-sex)

"1) Learn to put on your bracelets and zip up your dresses by yourself. There will be times when you will be alone.
2) Get on a long plane ride. Look out the window. Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance.
3) Press the send button. If you don’t say it now, you never will.
4) Do not sneer at happiness or roll your eyes at sadness. Be aware that apathy is not healthy.
5) You are more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you.
6) That pit in your stomach when he doesn’t text you back, it shouldn’t be there. No one should be able to control you like that.
7) Shopping is cathartic. Buy the shoes and deal with one-ply toilet paper for a while.
8) It will get better, but it will never be perfect. Learn to live through the small moments of happiness. When they disappear, remember they will resurface.
9) I promise that cookie will not change anything (except that it will make you smile).
10) Please, please, take care of yourself. You are everything to somebody. You are everything to your self. That alone is enough."


things to remember, -n.m. (via cateyesandthickthighs)
urtorres:
“ boobslyn:
“ pls
” ”

powerburial:

signedsincerelymegan:

powerburial:

just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm. we already know the m is there so just write like 6a or 6p. can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.

or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800

yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy. you piece of shit. you fucking coward

babyferaligator:

cool kid problem #38: having to stop in the middle of sex because you remembered a really funny meme and can’t stop laughing